I was watching Rafter Romance a few months ago, when I saw Fritzie, the cab driver with a supporting role in the movie, and my mouth dropped. There, on the screen, in front of my eyes, was GW, in 1933! It was almost the same man — the resemblance was uncanny.
There it was: an incredibly similar voice, the same face, the same facial expressions, the same stature (although Fritzie was a little taller than GW). Here’s a short clip from that movie; it’s a scene where Fritzie defends the heroine from the clutches of her lecherous employer.
That cab driver was Guinn “Big Boy” Williams, a popular actor with a very long career, who appeared in over 200 movies from 1919 till 1961 [reference]. At first a silent film star, he made the transition to talkies just fine, but his popularity as a leading actor waned in the 30s, and he started taking supporting roles as a character actor, which were his staple for the last 30 years or so of his career. Although smart and polished in real life, he “portrayed characters who were long on muscle and short on brains and grace, and he often emphasized their comedic aspects” [reference].
→ Updated 23.04.2017: Guinn Williams’ great niece, Liz Bewley, reached out to me in order to set his record straight. I obtained her permission in order to publish the information you see below:
“Guinn Williams was my Great Uncle. Guinn was from Texas and his father was a Texas Representative in D.C. Guinn pretty much bedded any woman with a pulse; I doubt very much that Barbara [Bush] would have wanted anything to do with him. Aside from acting, riding a horse well, and hitting a polo ball extremely far, he was an asshole supreme. One time, he got very angry at this one horse, because he was being very stubborn and tried to bite him. He got so mad that he hit the horse right between its eyes (hardest part on a horse) so hard that he literally “sat” the horse down. He broke just about every bone in his hand in the process. Another time, he and Errol Flynn crashed a party on a large private yacht. They were drunk, as usual, and being extremely obnoxious. When they were asked to leave, Big Boy picked up one of the men who had asked them to leave and threw him overboard. When he was playing the role of army Lieutenant Finn in The Alamo with John Wayne, he injured two Mexican actors badly. Apparently, the scene was on the roof and called for Big to grab the two Mexican actors with each arm and jump off. There was nothing below but ground. Big’s landing was cushioned by the two actors who suffered some big injuries. Needless to say, he was a self-centered man.”
I invite you to look for photos of Guinn Williams. The facial and bodily similarities between him and George W. Bush will amaze you.
If you find more similarities, feel free to post them as comments. Here are a few biographical resources to get you started:
- Guinn’s IMDB Page
- Guinn’s Wikipedia Page
- Guinn’s B-Westerns Biography
- Guinn’s TexasEscapes Biography
- Bush’s Wikipedia Page
- Bush’s Official White House Biography
- Definition of the phrase “dead ringer“
All these similarities got me thinking. What if W had been an actor? Hmm…
- W would have made a nice action movie star, sort of the Chuck Norris of the 21st century. He could have teamed up with Chuck Norris, come to think of it, or with Stallone. Imagine W and Rambo, deep in North Korea, hunting for dictators…
- The War on Terror would have made a nice series of action movies, and we’d have been victorious.
- W could have taken on Saddam, single-handedly, and he’d have chucked a grenade in the hole where he hid.
- He could have murdered Bin Laden, by shooting napalm into his cave, after spending months tracking him down in the mountains of Aghanistan.
- He’d have made mince meat of Kim Jong-il, after catching him at home, in his underwear.
- What about Ahmadinejad? Dead as nails. Seriously, W would have put them all down while leading elite Delta Forces into enemy territory.
- We wouldn’t be in Iraq right now. Or in Afghanistan. Or threatening Iran. And pissing off the rest of the world.
- We wouldn’t have mangled soldiers coming back from the war — you know, entrails sewn back together, heads stapled together, missing arms, missing legs, missing other body parts, etc. We wouldn’t have broken families because soldiers were deployed for too long. We wouldn’t have the massive numbers of PTSD and other pervasive syndromes in so many of our men and women, stuff that’s going to haunt them for the rest of their lives.
- We wouldn’t have spent trillions of dollars on this pointless war with no benefits. No, we’d have spent at most 200 million on each action movie, most of which, if not all, would have been recouped at the box office.
- Dick Cheney would have remained in the past, not haunted us for the last 8 years as the evil VP from hell.
- Rumsfeld would have continued to wear his cardigans around the office and hope for “transformation”, but without presiding over the disastrous Iraq invasion and the Abu Graib torture scandal.
- This list could go on and on…
What a pity W didn’t become an actor. This country would have been a better place, the movies might have been more entertaining, he would have gained a nice reputation as a likable all-American action hero with a Texas accent, and we wouldn’t be in the huge mess that we’re in today.